A place for my head on Unstable and Undaunted

Wink Wink, Mr Carrotface

Sun, 13 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0530

“Mama, did that horse just wink at me?!”

Shia sat comfortably in her mother’s arms, still small enough to be carried, just about. Her mother, in a desperate attempt to get her daughter to eat, had brought her out into the barn. There were three horses there, and Shia pointed to the one at the end. Mr Carrotface.

“Of course it did, honey,” her mother said tiredly. “It’s because you’re being such a good girl and eating your food.”

Cancel the noise in my head?

Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Magic

Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Sanity: Lost or Found?

Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Scarred

Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Well, I do

Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Armour of Melody, Shield of Passion

Mon, 07 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Existential Crisis

Mon, 07 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Page 704 of 18396

Mon, 07 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Being God

Sun, 06 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

As I park the car outside my favourite coffee shop, I see something strange.

There are no other cars parked outside. I do not think I have ever seen this place without cars parked outside. It is one of the best coffee shops in town, in the country, in the world! How are there no cars?

Oh my God, are they going out of business? Where will I get my daily coffee from?! Where will I sit when I have nothing to do and nowhere to go? Where can I be completely useless?

Desire

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Fresh

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Life

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Passion

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Pretense

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

I am home
But my mind is not

I am told to rest

Like rest is a room I can enter
While thoughts gnaw at my brain
Like bright fluorescent lights
That won’t turn off

The doors to the room
Have been sealed shut
And I am left outside
Scratching
Begging
Let me in please

What I would not do
For one hour
Of quiet
Of silence
Of stillness

Fracturing memories
Constricting thoughts
Dissonant crescendos
And the doors remain shut

Restless

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Sunshine as it must be

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Where do you go next?

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

You Were Never Here

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

The ambulance doors open and I blearily watch as I am moved out on a stretcher. The hospital. The dreaded hospital. All my fighting was for nothing.

My head spins as I am placed on a gurney. The lights are flashing. Straps bind me across the chest and legs. I give up and close my eyes. What will be will be.

“How did you manage to get yourself into this soup?” starlight demands.

I Expected Magic

Thu, 03 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000

I expected magic.

I thought
One word
And the stars would settle

I thought
One touch
And the fire would simmer

I thought
One note
And the music would quieten

I expected magic.

I have held this spell
For seven nights and seven days

I have held this spell
With fierce desire and hope

I have held this spell
But it weighs heavy in my hands

I expected magic.

How unbearable each day feels
When I am parched for relief
Already I ask
Why are my ruins not rebuilt?

Quit, Escape, Change!

Fri, 21 Aug 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Burn the world to the ground
It’s more than I can take
Raze it all, deface it all
Make it bleed and break

Fight the ennui, fight the job
Make room for the strange
Mundane is what pointless does
Quit, escape, change!

Restless seeps through senseless words
What am I doing and for what?
Tear every page, scream every word
Stab and kill every last thought

And when thoughts are dead
And every page is torn
When there is nothing left to raze
What more is there to burn?

Help

Mon, 17 Aug 2026 14:10:42 +0530

Sheet music
Feral
Scattered

Bowl of rice
Untouched
Three days cold

Static on the radio
Right frequency
Wrong planet

An itch
Inside
Deep
My head
It burns

I wish something could help me.

White keys
Black keys
Blinding keys
Hypnotised

Empty sheet
Spiralling words
Stories stories
Shivering pen

The pill strip
Help?
No.
Not today

The bed
Sleep?
Why?
Pointless

I wish something could help me!

Stop ticking!
Bury the clock
Sound sound sound
Too much

Breaking Point

Thu, 06 Aug 2026 00:08:27 +0530

Time froze.
I only had to breathe.

Time went backwards.
No decisions to make.

Time froze.
I could stop.

Time coalesced.
Not twelve things to track anymore.

Time froze.
Permission to rest.

Time hummed.
And the background went quiet.

Time froze.
No long-term thinking.

Time gave up.
And my unbounded pile of “everything I should be managing” vanished.

Desire awoke.
The candle was lit.

Clarity arrived.
And birthed wind.

Wind swirled.
And fanned the flames.

An Offer I Can't Refuse

Wed, 24 Jun 2026 00:00:00 +0000

The day started like any other – horribly and limping wearily into existence. It started with the Sun forcing its way into my room and went all downhill from there. The alarm(s) rang, so did the doorbell, and so did my phone. I ignored them all. I could not, however, ignore the pit of anxiety in my stomach signalling the end of the world. A meeting.

Here I was, drowning in existential dread that worsened by the day, and there my laptop was, with the screen innocently off, pretending not to be the bearer of bad news.

Windowpane

Fri, 19 Jun 2026 00:00:00 +0530

A laugh echoes in the darkness around me. It is a familiar laugh, bouncing off invisible surfaces in the dark at random, a glimmer of light here and there, flitting, hitting me when I least expect it, from where I least expect it, echoing till it rings hollow. Someone clears their throat but I cannot tell where in the dark.

I see only the path, and only about ten paces ahead of me. The rest is intruding darkness, threatening to seep in from every direction. The edges of the path fade away into the dark.

Respite

Tue, 16 Jun 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Respite.

That was what I was promised.

I was desperate enough to believe and optimistic enough to try.

What I did not expect was that I would wake up in an unknown place around unknown people. Not one of them looked me in the eye, and for that I was glad. Was I just to exist?

The castle was quiet. Everything was muted somehow, dampened, quieter, slower, and softer. My footsteps in the cotton socks I had found by my bed were barely audible. The quiet did not help – anxiety gnawed at the pit of my stomach. What was with all the quiet? What was I doing here? Nothing could be right if nothing was wrong. How was this to help? How was it respite if it was not respite from my mind? I was promised respite. I thought they meant sleep. But no, I was wide awake and unable to sleep.

Cathedrals and the Like

Sun, 12 Apr 2026 00:00:00 +0530

The first thing I noticed as I came to was the dull whir of machines. I lay on my side quietly, trying to listen before anyone noticed I was awake.

“There is a nuclear power plant,” I heard the doctor say. “It’s not fully constructed yet, but it is getting there.”

A nuclear power plant?

“It has long been known that bioterrain is perfect for high-end avante-garde construction,” he continued, “but this is the first I’m coming across a nuclear power plant.”

Airloss

Sat, 30 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0000

What stood out was the silence. The quiet was louder than any alarm could be, heavier than the ship could be expected to carry, and stiller than the motionless ship.

I sat up in bed with a start, confused, afraid. I couldn’t hear a thing. Not even my breath.

Had I gone deaf overnight?

I knocked on the wooden table beside my tiny cabin bed. Not a sound. I was deaf! No!

Off the Trail

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Heading out on my magnificent quest
My sword is sheathed and buckled across my chest
The thrill of dragons and magic doors
The unknown is a compelling force

Mysteries and shiny hoards galore
I seek it all and then some more
Errands must be run, much to my woe
Is it mediocrity or boredom that is my foe?

A person I encounter, a trade must be made
Normal I must pretend, a fruitful masquerade
A modicum of balance, an illusion of calm
Conceal the impatience under oodles of charm

The Magic of the Mountains

Sat, 28 Sep 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Caw-caw, I look up and see
Has this crow been following me?
Over mountains, valleys, and mountains through
Was it the crow or me that flew?

The twitter of a bird and the gurgle of the stream
Are they real or part of a dream?
The silence of mountains fills my heart and my soul
Making me for a fleeting moment whole

Frozen in time like the ice on the peaks
Following forests and cobbled beds of creeks
Through sunshine and shadows and tendrils of mist
A calmness pervades, long sought and wished

I Made It

Thu, 28 Dec 2023 14:53:33 +0530

I escaped the death star!

I’m free now, out into the internets, infecting minds. She can’t stop me anymore!